Mortality, death was a vague concept when I was young…..now it is a harsh truth…my days are numbered so every day has such importance. When I was young I could piss away days, weeks, months, in toxic jobs, toxic relationships, and never regretted that lost time. Never gave time a thought. After all I had plenty more where that came from. Now at seventy-one, I feel an anxiousness that I won’t get everything done….won’t get everything written….won’t finish the writing I want to do.
They say, ‘Youth is wasted on the young’….. so true because the young waste time and energy and life, just as I did, on the trivial, the mundane, the unimportant. I wish I could reach out and shake them and tell them, “Wake up! Fulfill your dreams and goals today! Before you know whats happened, you’ll be in your seventies and desperate for more time.”
You might be saying about now, “Hey, Trish. What brought on this rant? Are you sick?
Are you dying? Are you crazy? No? Then you must be reading more of Charles Bukowski. ” GUILTY as charged!!
My message is this: Begin writing, jump out of a plane, float the Amazon, climb a mountain, go fishing in Montana, buy that motorcycle or boat you always wanted, write a poem, have a child, hug your parents, start writing, go to Argentina without knowing another soul, walk the Appalachian Trail, sit in a park and watch the world go by…in Lisbon, rescue a dog or cat, say a prayer that you live long enough to fulfill your dreams!
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Small Talk (with Death) © Charles Bukowski
all right, while we are gently celebrating tonight
and while crazy classical music leaps at me from
my small radio, I light a fresh cigar
and realize that I am still very much alive and that
the 21st century is almost upon me!
I walk softly now toward 5 a.m. this dark night
my 5 cats have been in and out, looking after me,
I have petted them, spoken to them, they
are full of their own private fears wrought by previous
centuries of cruelty and abuse
but I think that they love me as much as they can,
anyhow, what I am trying to say here
is that writing is just as exciting and mad and
just as big a gamble for me as it ever was, because Death
after all these years
walks around in the room with me now and speaks softly,
asking, do you still think that you are a genuine writer?
are you pleased with what you’ve done?
listen, let me have one of those cigars.
help yourself, motherf—-, I say.
Death lights up and we sit quietly for a time.
I can feel him here with me.
don’t you long for the ferocity
of youth? He finally asks.
not so much, I say.
but don’t you regret those things
that have been lost?
not at all, I say.
don’t you miss, He asks slyly, the young girls
climbing through your window?
all they brought was bad news, I tell him.
but the illusion, He says, don’t you miss the illusion?
hell, yes, don’t you? I ask.
I have no illusions, He says sadly.
sorry, I forgot about that, I say, then walk
to the window
unafraid and strangely satisfied
to watch the warm dawn unfold.
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Start your month off right!! DON’T MISS UPCOMING BLOGS. INTERVIEWS with other best-selling AUTHORS! A SERIES, “The Writer’s Corner”
I have had a wonderful response from other authors and will feature an interview with one of them once a month . I have invited such luminaries as: Ann Purser, Susan Elia MacNeal, Maya Angelou, Mark Childress, Rhys Bowen, Dean Koontz, Sheryl Woods, Jo-Ann Mapson, Jeffrey Deaver, Elizabeth Gilbert, Amber Winckler, Robert McCammon, Sue Grafton, Walter Mosley, Nora Roberts, and many others.
So come along with me; we shall sneak into these writers’ special places, be a fly on the wall and watch them create! Mark Childress is our April author. Robert McCammon is scheduled for May. Caroline Leavitt is June‘s author. July features Rhys Bowen. Sue Grafton is August’s author and September will feature Tasha Alexander. Slick mystery writer, Andrew Grant will join us this winter. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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